Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
