she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
