All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
