i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
