Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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