hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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