The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
