dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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