Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
