i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
