literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
