Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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