margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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