sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
