The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
