it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We are all done wearing pants today
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
