it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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