that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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