Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
