He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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