So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
