another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm both gender and math confused
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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