glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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