you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
