just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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