i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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