there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i've created a new STD.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
