yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
