Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize