the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just googled if crying burns calories
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
