I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
false alarm. still invincible.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
