All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
