I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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