dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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