Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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