The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
