Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
so much tequila, so little girl.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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