wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
