I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
