He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i out mim tonsoeep
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