im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
