found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
