i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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