Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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