You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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