if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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