Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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