She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
