What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Damn victory sex feels great
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
