And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
