come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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